When you see your friend having a hard time, the first thing you want to do is show support, offer comfort or advice.

You’re a shoulder to cry on, someone they can talk to about their problems and you’re thankful you can be there for them in any way they need.

You notice their suffering and it’s natural to respond to their pain by helping them without judgement.

But can you say with certainty that you’d treat yourself with this same level of compassion and understanding?

We’re often our own worst critics and we hold ourselves accountable to a greater level than the people around us.

Our inner voice is dismissive of our struggles.

We feel ashamed for feeling a certain way or embarrassed by our inability to handle things as well everyone else seems to. If you reflect on this now, do you think you talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a close friend?

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The Twisted Vine helps to nurture this compassionate mindset you so often give to others. As you climb the vine, you discover an emotional journey, with each step helping you to gain momentum from dis-eases such as shame or guilt to feeling hope and ultimately Oneness.

The vine is a spectrum of human emotion and it’s likely that you feel, or have felt previously, the different emotions it expresses at different times in your life. You may have seen these same emotions reflected by your peers or friends, but it’s just as important that you don’t hold yourself to the top of the vine.

Everyone is on their own path and all aspects of the vine serve a purpose depending on where we are in life.

If you see someone around the same area of the vine as you, you’ll give them credit for where they are and feel proud for how much they’ve achieved.

Why not express this same generosity and goodwill to yourself?

Don’t push past uncomfortable emotions. Deal with them head-on. Instead of judging and criticising yourself for your apparent failings, start talking to yourself with the same level of compassion and kindness you’d extend to a friend or someone close to you.

You’d never speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself in your darkest moments. You’d never ignore another’s pain or dismiss someone’s concerns.

Take care of yourself in this way too.

Begin with yourself. When you want to grow and ascend to the top of the vine show compassion and kindness to yourself first.